Slip Her a Smile
by Lizicia
Summary: 'Donna doesn't know what "like that" means so there is no answer she could give, except think of the limbo they're in by their own creation since that other time.' Donna/Harvey, 2x14.


**A/N: **Okay, this is incredibly late and I actually wrote this right after 2x14 but forgot. This is my first _Suits_ story – I love Donna so much because she is sassy and incredible and her relationship with Harvey is marvelously complicated.

This a retelling of 'the other time' which has been done over and over but hopefully my story still manages to offer you something.

**Disclaimer:** I wish I knew Donna but I definitely wouldn't own her.

* * *

"So it is like that between you two."

The nerve of that man. Donna slaps him, hard and unrelenting but the fury in her has little to do with Hardman and more with not knowing.

What does it mean _it is like that_? Like what? She doesn't know what it means so there is no answer she could give.

Most of the firm thinks they know – they're thinking in words like _fast_ and _secrecy_ and _fucking every chance they get_. She would prefer if it was like that because then she would know, she would own that knowledge and no one could say anything.

For a while, they must have thought it also meant_ love_ and _unrequited feelings_ and _loyalty_. But it's not that either.

They're in a limbo and it's all their own creation, Donna thinks as she is reminded of that first time Harvey was at her apartment.

* * *

"I didn't think you would actually do that. The look on his face when you told him off was just priceless."

Harvey's smiling and fitting in at her apartment. It's their first year at Pearson Hardman and this is the first time he's been at her place, having just shown up with a bottle of Macallan in his hand. And Donna is not the kind of a girl to turn down a perfectly decent bottle of scotch even if she can sense the strings it comes with.

But for now, they settle for drinking slowly. She's not wearing one of her usual dresses – her armor – but jeans and a top. It's not quite as intimate as her usual lounge wear of yoga pants and tank tops would be but it's more than she's shown anyone in years.

Harvey's jacket is draped over the back of the couch, his silk tie on the table, his shoes neatly in row next to Donna's by the door – no one wears shoes in her apartment. He'd smiled at that and said _No one wears them in my apartment as well_ and that really had been the first moment she should've known what a dangerous game they were playing. But she didn't acknowledge it.

"Well, he was a piece of shit and someone had to tell him. I just happened to be so lucky. Besides, it's not like you would have said something."

"He is my client."

"Doesn't make him any less of an asshole."

"I don't think he appreciated you telling him off."

"Because I'm your secretary?"

"Because you're a gorgeous woman and he can't handle that."

Her eyes fixate on him and she blinks a couple of times in a comically slow fashion. This is why she's never let him get close. This attraction between them, just bubbling under the surface of smiles and banter and witty retorts, is one they've managed to keep a lid on. It's not like they're blind to it or that they need to consciously suppress it every day. But if they don't talk about it then it's not there.

Instead of saying anything, she sips her drink and looks out the window. She clears her throat unnecessarily.

"Yeah, well, misogynistic men are plentiful in this business."

In the background, the song changes. He gives her an astonished look.

"Is that...?"

"Miles Davis, _Kind of Blue_."

And he keeps looking at her and oh, she knows. He told her about this record a few weeks back and it's not that she didn't know about it but right afterward, it was the first time she really listened and let the music carry her away.

"Didn't I-"

"You did."

No, that is not what Donna wanted to say. She wanted to say something witty like she always does but now it's out there, hovering in the air between them. Harvey stands from his position on the couch and comes to a halt next to her, but instead of looking out the window, he looks straight at her.

"I like seeing you like this. You look different."

And _no no no_, her mind keeps screaming, this is laced with all kinds of dangerous and heady things, all the undercurrents and subtext and this is not the way it's supposed to be. She retorts back to their usual style.

"So, all those dresses were a waste of time? I'll know what to wear on Monday then."

"Donna. You're beautiful no matter what."

It's a whisper but there is reverence in his tone of voice and she simultaneously thinks _He is going to kiss me_ and _No no no_.

"I could kiss you right now, Donna."

His hand rises as if on its own volition and moves towards her and when it touches her cheek, the skin on skin contact gives her the strength she needs to back away.

"No."

He cocks his head to the side as if not understanding and she elaborates. "You could but you can't."

"I could just reach over and-"

"You can't because we can't."

"Because we work together?"

"Because."

She doesn't think she could explain it but it's all there anyway. It's not because they work together and it is. It's not that she's in love with him and it is. And it's most definitely not about what will people think. She doesn't know what it is but she only knows that they can't.

"Okay."

And just like that, Harvey relents and walks away.

"See you on Monday."

* * *

So when Hardman asks her if it is like_ that_ or when Louis asked her if she was in love with Harvey, she didn't have an answer because she doesn't know, because she stopped it once and she's not going to go back on it.

Later, she tells him about slapping Hardman and they're laughing and joking when suddenly, without warning, he calls her beautiful. And she's transported back into that other time he was at her apartment and it's unexpected and for a moment, she forgets. She lets go of every _no_ and _can't_ and just smiles, hesitantly, without any thought to how vulnerable she seems.

And when she realizes it's Jessica he's talking to, her smile falters and she's glad that Harvey's eyes are directed elsewhere because this gives her time to compose herself, to bury that trace of vulnerability and be the Donna Paulsen she always is.

"So." He turns to her, looking smug and content and a winner. "I'm sure you have a power tool somewhere in your drawers. Let's take these letters off the wall, shall we?"

And because she has reverted back to their usual style, she smiles mischievously and nods. "Let's take that asshole's name off the wall for good. Or we could just rearrange them if we could get some additional letters."

Harvey cocks an eyebrow. "Into Specter?"

She smiles indulgently. "Please. Paulsen. Told you Pearson Paulsen would sound amazing."

"Pearson Specter is even more spectacular."

"You're not managing partner."

"Yet. But I will be."

"And I will get my own office one day."

"You can have everything except for your name on the wall. I'm not budging on that one."

"You never mentioning the Miles Davis again?"

"Everything except for two things then."

And just like that, they're back to normal and it's fine, really. Because Donna is not in love with Harvey and because feelings go away. And it is not like _that_.

* * *

**A/N:** Ah. Those stubborn two. Please let me know what you think!


End file.
